Please head north
I'm April. eighteen. Chicago. Punk. Pizza Enthusiastic. Bum. Beer. Science. Art. No talent.
Please head north
next saturday is my birthday. Yuuup I’m turning 18. I’m excited even doe i know nothing is going to change. all the freedom I’ve been dreaming of getting once i turn 18 most likely wont get aha. For the most part I’m excited to turn 18 cause I’ll have more chances to get hired in places and because I’ll be able to get the tattoo I’ve been wanting for so long which is the solar system on my ribs. I hope this is my year which im going to start by turning 18, if not I’ll make it my year. i also hope to drink tons of beer this saturday and the rest of the year aha
Can I just stay in my bed, under my covers and cry /:
My love life sucks so badly. I hope once I turn 18 I get attractive and finally guys would think I’m attractive and be like “hey she’s pretty cute. I want to take her to cute dates and make her my girlfriend c: “
Man I wanna have a banging body but food doesn’t let me -.-
I hate when I miss someone I shouldn’t miss and I hate when I want someone I shouldn’t want even doe I want them so badly
I like to have fun. I like to get fucked up and do stupid shit. I’m kind of wild & maybe a little messed up in the head. But this is the only time i’m able to do it so i’m going to enjoy every minute of it. Cause I really dont want to be like this when I get older.
This is the only picture I have of him and it’s hard to delete. I remember he sent it to me “Me and Bombo miss you<33”. Yeah we were that type of couple that goes to buildabear workshop to have kids aha. And this was our kid cause i’m inlove with penguins c:   Cause of Joel I have high physical standards for a guy. I dont know why but I always compare every guy to him. Is he light skin, those he have facial hair, is it nice groom facial hair, does he have light brown hair, small lips like me, nice body like his with the v line and abs. I put too much thought.

Back to my dream so I dreamt about the first I met him to the last time I talked to him l:

I dreamt about how the first time I met him we both were 15yrs old how he was potato red cause barely came out P.e and he came up to me like “hey april” and I literally was who the fuck is this?? “ummm heeey ummmm I forgot.your name” “its Joel” “oh yeah hey Joel”. I think til this day he holds a grudge that I forgot his name c:  I dreamt about how the 1st day we met we started walking home together cause lived near each other. From that day we walked home together til the day we broke up. I dreamt about the first time he told me he missed me and I was like “ewww no sorry but I dont miss you”. I dreamt about how a month later I told him I missed so much for the first time. I dreamt about after that he told me how he felt about me and I told him I felt the same. I dreamt about the first time we kissed, the first time we hold hands. I dreamt about when he asked me out at the park and I felt like the luckiest girl ever. I dreamt about how the first time we did IT he took off both my shirts and was “WOW I didn’t know they were that biiig” “yeah they are aha”. I dreamt about how he would come over my house almost everyday in the summer. I dreamt about how he left his necklace next to my.bed so I can wear it. I dreamt about that time he pulled my hair so hard he crack my neck ahaha and I was in pain for a few days aha. I dreamt about that time we broke up and he came over and asked not to leave cause I meant everything to him. I dreamt about the time we both order toms at the same time. I dreamt about how he would buy me pizza, bring me pizza cause he knew how much I love pizza. Dreamt about how we.had a contest who eats fast and who burpps louder. I won both aha. I dreamt about how he wanted to buy me everything in downtown but I was like naah babe c:  I DREAMT ABOUT THE TIME WE BOTH GOT ARREST TOGETHER AND WE BOTH WERE ONLY 16 AHAHA HOW  IT WAS OUR FIRST IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR. WE POPPED THAT CHERRY TOGETHER AHA AND HE KEPT TELLING ME I’M SORRY BABE I’M SORRY<333. I dreamt about the day you gave me my wood plugs. Now theyre i’m favorite plugs. I dreamt how I had this bald spot in my side cut and he liked it to make me feel better. I dreamt about so much I’m glad I didn’t wake up. I guess i’m still hungover but i’m trying to move cause what we had would never never never happen again.

I love you kiddo, always will love your weird ass, and your ass c:   I hope youre doing great & I love you. I cant believe I compare every guy to you aha and if theyre not like you theyre a big no aha
I dreamt about You. About Joel…
My breakfast/lunch yuum yuum red bull<333
If you’re a runner you know how it feels when you run like 2 to 3miles every morning. You feel great yet SUPER hungry like literally you eat for 2 people. Because your body wants to take all in the energy/cals you lost running. Man I used to love being in track cause I would run 5miles everyday then come home stuff my face with food then lose it all the next day Ha (:
But today i’m stuck eating a little sandwich and my red bull because i’m in a diet WAAAAAH. like i’m still starving I need me 3 more sandwiches l: BUT DIET DIET DIET
I don’t know if it’s just me but you noticed how funny it is that you fall the hardest for the person you once said you’ll never date because they’re just “EWW” but then you start getting to know them and the more you know them the more you fall in love with them and their personality and out of nowhere their personality makes them 100x more attractive than anyone you’ve ever laid eyes on?